


the fire's found a home in me

by princessmiakitten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Unrequited Love, basically my heart's ripped out of my chest right now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 14:51:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4267449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmiakitten/pseuds/princessmiakitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Be mine.” Kenji whispers, voice so raw and barely louder than the sound of a pin dropping. It’s a nightly ritual, one that follows the intimate act every time.</p><p>“Just for tonight, I’ll be yours.”</p><p>It’s the same answer every night, and Ennoshita Chikara is nothing if not a man of his word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the fire's found a home in me

**Author's Note:**

> please listen to this [song](https://youtu.be/e1S9HUNoI4k) on repeat as you read this  
> the song itself is guaranteed to kill you

The darkness holds so many secrets.

It hides the way Chikara throws his head back, the way his nails rake up Kenji’s back, the way the two are connected.

The darkness hides away Kenji’s face, nestled into Chikara’s neck, teeth against skin as Chikara rides him.

There’s only the sound of skin against skin, the sound of the bed creaking, their hearts beating hard in their chests, the pants and moans that mask words of love that are unspoken.

That will forever remain unspoken.

The darkness holds so many secrets like the many rendezvous that the two shared over the course of two years, the stolen kisses and lingering touches under the table and in back alleyways and even in Kenji’s own bedroom.

Secrets. Secrets. Secrets.

Everything was a secret.

But what isn’t a secret is the way Kenji looks at Chikara with stars in his eyes, with all the love in the world that he couldn’t possibly convey with words. What isn’t a secret is the fact that every night, Chikara ends up in Kenji’s bed and it’s Kenji’s name that falls from Chikara’s lips.

It’s no secret to Kenji that it’s to him whom Chikara gave his heart.

With their bodies moving together in sync, always in sync, they climax, and Kenji wishes he could mark Chikara’s perfect skin, could burn his name into the lithe body with the fire that’s blazing under his skin, wherever Chikara touches.

“Be mine.” Kenji whispers, voice so raw and barely louder than the sound of a pin dropping. It’s a nightly ritual, one that follows the intimate act every time.

“Just for tonight, I’ll be yours.”

It’s the same answer every night, and Ennoshita Chikara is nothing if not a man of his word.

The darkness keeps this a secret too, the hushed words that seem like nothing, but mean everything to Futakuchi Kenji.

Just for tonight, Ennoshita Chikara belongs to Futakuchi Kenji, even if he can’t mark him, even if he can’t touch him in the way that he wants when the daylight comes.

Even if Ennoshita Chikara belongs to someone else.

Even if Ennoshita Chikara’s heart is with Kenji, he himself belongs to someone else-- someone who can’t treat Chikara the way he needs to be treated, who can love him the way Kenji can.

Chikara’s belonged to someone for over two years, and all he can give Kenji is tonight.

Kenji can see the stars from where he lays at night, with Chikara’s head buried into his chest and his breath evening out after a night of activity. It’s the same stars he sees every night, and everything about tonight seems like any other night.

Except it isn’t.

It’s the last night the darkness has to keep secrets, it’s the last night the walls will hear Chikara screaming Kenji’s name, it’s the last time the bedsheets will carry Chikara’s scent.

He sees the stars and wishes for morning to never come as Chikara’s fingers blindly trace the raised welts on his back. He wishes that Chikara wouldn’t just be his for tonight, for only one night.

Chikara’s out like a light.

Kenji can’t sleep that easily. He knows that when morning comes, Chikara will officially be someone else’s-- someone that can hold him and touch him and kiss him in public without having a care in the world.

It breaks his heart.

Two years that belong to the darkness, of secrets, all locked away.

When he does sleep, he dreams of unpleasant things-- A different set of lips on the ones that pressed against Kenji’s neck that same night, a ring gleaming in the sunlight, and Chikara walking away from him.

He wakes up drenched in sweat, his chest heaving as tears stream from his eyes. The sun’s up and Kenji already knows Chikara is gone without having to look at the bed.

He’s always gone when the morning comes.

Kenji dreads the day, he feels sick to his stomach, and he’s actually tempted to put on a ruse of not being able to get out of bed. But he thinks about how disappointed Chikara would be and that’s enough reason for him to get up, get out of the bed they shared, and into the shower to prepare for the day. Down the drain goes the sweat, goes the tears, goes the scent of Chikara, goes the night they spent.

With each motion he goes through, with each minute he spends getting ready, it brings him closer to the time he doesn’t want to reach.

Stupid stars.

They never grant his wishes.

Kenji has to be at the church early because by some sick joke, Chikara decided to make him the best man-- But Chikara had asked him in the dead of night, a whisper in the dark while his finger traced little circles on Kenji’s chest.

And who was he to say no?

It’s another secret locked up and the key thrown away.

He arrives already dressed in his suit, his hair in it’s trademark side sweep. He could practically hear the lashing he’d get for not doing anything extravagant from Mama Ennoshita herself and it makes him laugh to himself as he stands in front of the church.

“What’s so funny?”

Kenji’s heartbeat spikes at the sound of his voice alone, not even seeing him until he turns around and his heart stops.

Ennoshita Chikara is so beautiful.

An actual angel, really, with a smile that lights up his entire face. It takes a moment for Kenji to compose himself, pretend like the only thing they are are best friends. He has to forget that they have two years worth of secrets.

It’s a mask that Kenji puts on, one that shows nothing but happiness to be here, to watch the ceremony that would tie Chikara to another. He smiles.

“I’m just thinking about that time your mother dragged us to that wedding and got so upset when I showed up wearing sneakers with my suit and my hair was just as it usually is.”

The memory makes Chikara laugh as well and it makes Kenji want to cry. Although everyone would just think it was him being an emotional best friend, Chikara would know better.

The groom can’t be upset on his own wedding day.

It’s an outdoor wedding, and the sun hits Chikara’s hair in a way that makes it looks like he’s glowing-- and maybe he is. Chikara is a star, is just warm and light and beautiful and everything Kenji ever wanted.

Kenji stands beside him, just as he had his entire life.

 _“Kenji-kun, I want to kiss you.”_ Kenji can hear the whisper in his ear as he’s taken back two years prior, to a drunken night meant to celebrate Kenji’s promotion alone in the safety of his own apartment.

Two years. He’s only known Chikara’s love for two years out of the twenty they’ve known each other. Two years out of the eleven that Kenji’s loved him.

Two years, locked and with the key thrown away.

And now, Kenji has to watch as the one person he’s ever loved kisses another man.

Watches the gleam of the ring on his finger.

Watches Chikara walk down the aisle with his back to Kenji.

Reality isn’t a dream he can wake up from.


End file.
